Be like an octopus

My family and I often say (in the words of Ted Lasso) “Be like a goldfish” when we need to remind ourselves to not let the small stuff hold us back, and to move on from mistakes. While I absolutely believe this is an important idea to live into, I was struck by another idea last week.

We were fortunate to be spending time in Hawaii with my family, and spent most days snorkeling in the Pacific. My eldest daughter and I came across a beautiful octopus. As we floated above it watching it rest in its den, I realized maybe there is another saying we should add to our list:

"Be like an octopus."

My daughter enjoying the underwater sights.

Maybe it was the serenity of swimming in what felt like an endless aquarium, but a whole series of  thoughts came to my mind. Upon reflection, I think they reveal some nontraditional, yet essential, ways of being a grounded, effective leader while staying true to yourself.

Picture from the Maui Ocean Center (https://mauioceancenter.com/marine-life/day-octopus/) - it turns out both my daughter and I are terrible underwater photographers!

Be like an octopus… by navigating visibility and invisibility without losing your core. As a woman in higher education leadership, I’ve learned the quiet power of knowing when to blend in, and when to be seen. The octopus’s ability to camouflage without losing itself felt familiar.

Be like an octopus… by being bold when needed. Sometimes surprising others with unexpected moves (or insight) is exactly what the moment calls for.

Be like an octopus… be a problem-solver and tool user. Try thinking through complexity rather than reacting impulsively. (I'm certainly reminded here about the video my husband made me watch a while ago - Mark Rober's Octopus vs. Underwater Maze. Totally amazing - worth the time to watch!)

Be like an octopus.. by being emotionally intelligent and observant. Read the room. Notice more. Collect information not to react, but to respond with clarity.

Be like an octopus… by embracing solitude and reflection. As I relearned on this trip, rest and reflection is restorative and imperative to staying true to one’s mission and values. While this is such a straightforward idea, it so often gets pushed aside in the daily grind. We all need time our “den”.

Be like an octopus… by remembering what matters. Learning from past experiences is so important as one grows in their work and life. It’s not about holding grudges. It is about utilizing your experience and wisdom gained from all of your past endeavors.

Be like an octopus… by capitalizing on resiliency and regeneration. Did you know they can regenerate a limb after injury? (Full disclosure - this one I learned about when I looked up octopuses once I was back on land!) Growing the ability to bend, retreat, recalibrate and rebuild after loss or setbacks only allows us to emerge stronger.

Be like an octopus… by moving gracefully and effortlessly through complex situations. We will all face challenges in our work and leadership roles, and navigating this complexity with grace is key.

Be like an octopus… by pushing boundaries. If we seek to think outside the box and look to defy expectations, we can mimic this boundary pushing and we too can squeeze through “tight spaces”.

Be like an octopus… by embodying a quiet strength. When we are immersed in traditional academic cultures, it can be difficult to come across as strong and capable without leaning into roles that might not feel authentic. But, it doesn’t have to be this way. The octopus has no bones, and often no bravado as it stays camouflaged to its environment. Yet, it has all the presence and precision needed to be an amazing creature. Strength doesn’t have to be loud. Instead, we can live into being soft and strong at the same time.

The only picture that (kind of) turned out of me underwater.

As I kicked away from the reef, leaving the octopus tucked safely in its den, I kept thinking: maybe the wisdom we need right now isn’t loud or flashy. Instead, it’s quiet, adaptive, and deeply grounded. Forget the lion, the tiger, the eagle. I think I am going to try taking my cues from this octopus by reclaiming quiet intelligence, endless adaptability, and the resiliency of regrowth. It's not about moving fast or roaring the loudest. It’s about moving with intention, knowing when to blend in, when to stand out, and when to retreat to rest and regroup.

For women in leadership, especially in spaces where we can still be underestimated, maybe it’s time to take our cues from the ocean: soft-bodied, clear-eyed, and unafraid to stretch into every corner we’re told we don’t belong. We should all try leaning in to radical softness and strategic strength.

Be like an octopus.

What would being like an octopus look like for you this year?